John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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