I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
