So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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