I wish I could teleport
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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