im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
