I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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