Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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