Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
