the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You have to summon your inner elephant
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
