wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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