There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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