We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pappa wants mamma naked
thus making me awesome and them whores
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
