I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
