i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
