You really coming over, don't trick.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?