is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
