I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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