how can u be prego again
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
