When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
