After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
