her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize