You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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