I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
