you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
