I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Someone shattered a urinal.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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