I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
