Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
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So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we should paint friendship bongs
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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