do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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