Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
