sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
