The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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