everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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