I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize