I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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