I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
