Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!