Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

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  (405): And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch. http://tfl.nu/1xo5
  Replies (12) Good night (748) Bad night (1770)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.

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  (219): sometimes i really wish you were a nugget. http://tfl.nu/qrxi
  Replies (31) Good night (2580) Bad night (750)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope

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  (330): Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope http://tfl.nu/5njb
  Replies (17) Good night (688) Bad night (4173)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".

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  (773): She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy". http://tfl.nu/lu2f
  Replies (47) Good night (1370) Bad night (6421)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.

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  (901): I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class. http://tfl.nu/yhk3
  Replies (31) Good night (6781) Bad night (697)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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  (360): Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day http://tfl.nu/ig75
  Replies (16) Good night (4141) Bad night (825)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday

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  (610): Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday http://tfl.nu/c2dx
  Replies (12) Good night (4700) Bad night (944)
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  (516): View more from New York

  And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.

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  (516): And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this. http://tfl.nu/g7ey
  Replies (9) Good night (3961) Bad night (989)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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  (250): you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in. http://tfl.nu/ux6h
  Replies (7) Good night (1193) Bad night (2923)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.

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  (561): There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow. http://tfl.nu/9y2p
  Replies (5) Good night (1943) Bad night (606)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.

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  (609): We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend. http://tfl.nu/121k
  Replies (7) Good night (1076) Bad night (400)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed

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  (585): If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/2pf8
  Replies (6) Good night (1724) Bad night (458)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So thanks for that

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  (203): By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking" (203): So thanks for that http://tfl.nu/03od
  Replies (2) Good night (599) Bad night (280)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.

  (1-320): View more from Minnesota

  If you insist

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.

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  (320): I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while. (1-320): If you insist (320): The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist. http://tfl.nu/uwtr
  Replies (1) Good night (465) Bad night (235)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.

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  (978): Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup. http://tfl.nu/pt6l
  Replies (3) Good night (819) Bad night (277)

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