Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong

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(914): Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong http://tfl.nu/jy3c

Replies (23) Good night (4193) Bad night (711)
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(205): View more from Alabama

decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais

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(205): decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais http://tfl.nu/hn97

Replies (9) Good night (2612) Bad night (876)
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(905): View more from Ontario

I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though

(289): View more from Ontario

Lolll I'll be sleeping

(905): View more from Ontario

I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.

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(905): I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though (289): Lolll I'll be sleeping (905): I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town. http://tfl.nu/s1jf

Replies (2) Good night (2155) Bad night (721)
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(714): View more from California

It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.

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(714): It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you. http://tfl.nu/6jll

Replies (11) Good night (1997) Bad night (668)
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(914): View more from New York

What are you wearing tonight?

(510): View more from California

The colors of the winddddddd

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(914): What are you wearing tonight? (510): The colors of the winddddddd http://tfl.nu/dt24

Replies (7) Good night (3608) Bad night (648)
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(208): View more from Idaho

She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....

(615): View more from Tennessee

Lesbians are weird.

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(208): She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk".... (615): Lesbians are weird. http://tfl.nu/wkyn

Replies (4) Good night (1724) Bad night (669)
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(310): View more from California

She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL

(310): View more from California

so no, not her best night

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(310): She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL (310): so no, not her best night http://tfl.nu/htxy

Replies (6) Good night (762) Bad night (1989)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

so you are graduating this semester.

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(484): my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete. (215): so you are graduating this semester. http://tfl.nu/j7mj

Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (559)
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(818): View more from California

My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.

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(818): My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place. http://tfl.nu/mphg

Replies (10) Good night (1306) Bad night (447)
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(425): View more from Washington

I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?

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(425): I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right? http://tfl.nu/i5oh

Replies (1) Good night (1134) Bad night (395)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that

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(508): No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that http://tfl.nu/lub4

Replies (3) Good night (325) Bad night (526)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.

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(+44): New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest. http://tfl.nu/rx56

Replies (2) Good night (640) Bad night (268)
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(907): View more from Alaska

As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.

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(907): As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan. http://tfl.nu/b2sh

Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (271)
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(630): View more from Illinois

he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.

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(630): he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding. http://tfl.nu/dq8r

Replies (2) Good night (265) Bad night (556)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.

(505): View more from New Mexico

...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.

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(505): wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days. (505): ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it. http://tfl.nu/p1xm

Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (438)

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