I accidentally burped into my bong.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
