Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
