OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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