I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize