sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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