I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
