I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Randomize
