break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
