Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
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He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
This show inspires me to have sex in space
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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