Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize