rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize