I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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