I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Then you guys just all showered together...?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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