I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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