PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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