every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she looked like the before picture.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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