I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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