My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
