just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
25 ‘Manly’ Things Guys Do That Are Actually Really Annoying
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors