Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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