its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
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Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?