No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
