After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.