morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.