In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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