So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
