it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
