yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
