i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
