when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
