so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
