There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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