theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
