She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
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You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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