Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
