So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
