He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Randomize
